I launched my experiences at AKC dog shows by illustrating the old Firesign Theater line: “She’s no fun. She fell right over,” (which appeared with masculine pronouns in the original).
Dog show information for the clueless, like me, does not include such preventatives for fainting as
- Bring your own small folding chair
- Snacks, especially if you shy away from hamburg and hot-dog fare.
Avoid Fainting if You Are Older
You do not want to faint when you are old, because people will be afraid you are going to die on them.
Everyone at the show was very kind, including the five workmen who were standing over me when I awoke with my chin flat on the gravel, grateful that the tunnel of white light wasn’t a portal to forever and feeling like an ass.
“Are you hurt?”
“Only my pride.”
To become better informed about Doberman Pinscher conformation, I happily rode off to the three-day AKC Dog Shows at the Orlando fairgrounds recently.
How Attending Shows Helps You Learn
I ran into a breeder I knew from the Facebook Doberman Pinschers breeders’ page. She took me under her wing, generous with her dog show information about what to look for in conformation.
A show is sporting fun for breed enthusiasts, and I learned some useful things.
For example, in obedience training, I want the dog to look at me; in conformation, the animal must look straight ahead so that the set of the legs and gait may be properly evaluated.
I left home early for me — 9-ish — with a bracing mug of hot tea. I didn’t stop until I reached the Orlando Fair Grounds and found the building where the Doberman Pinschers would exhibit on the first Friday of these AKC Dog Shows.
Waiting for ring time, so I wandered over to the catering truck. I didn’t think about buying something to drink. This was my First Mistake.
Tattoo Stay Hydrated on the Backs of Your Eyelids
Anyone who has lived in Florida as long as I have should have “Stay Hydrated” tattooed on the inside of my eyelids.
Temperatures were soaring to around Heat Index 100 with nary a breeze to relieve the suffocating heat in this inland location.
I was hungry, but seeing the menu, I decided to wait until after I saw the Dobes to find a restaurant. After all, my new GPS would provide me with an array of choices.
That was my Second Mistake.
Further intensifying my dehydration and lack of food, the air conditioning wasn’t working in the building housing the Dobes’ competition.
To Wrap It All Up
So lesson learned: When attending AKC dog shows, for sporting fun go with everything you need to stay safe.
The dog show information that may save you from being that person who is no fun because she fell right over — bring a chair, bring water, bring snacks, and have a good time.